I know you're the one whom im supposed to be 'closer' to, the one im supposed to be able to talk to like how you do with her, or the one im supposed to look up to for advice and life lessons. Though i do get one outta three (not by my own will), but things are different now. You're true colours are showing. I tried, i really tried talking to you. Just when i decide to open up. Let you into my private life. Hoping that you of all people would understand. I broke down in front of you. And what was your response to me? Bull F***ING shyt. You know, i really didnt expect you to understand, but for someone as yourself, what you've been through your whole life, never have i expected you to JUDGE. You judge my life, you judge who i am, you judge the person im living to me. You judge my friends, you judge my decisions, fuck, you even judge my judgements. Honestly, what the fuck is WRONG with you? Am i really such a screw up? Did i really disappoint you that badly? Apparently so. I really dont see any other reason why you'd act that way when i try to talk, jump into conclusions, take me for a liar, or think that everything i do is to deliberately hurt you. The things you do, the things you say to me, might not be 'big' or serious or particularly hurtful, but the fact that those fucked up words can come out of your lips, especially when you say it with that... that LOOK on your face. What am i supposed to think? HOW am i supposed to feel? As an 18 year old. Being spoken to like that... like im some blardy scum who really is just so stupid or 'doesnt bother to use what's in that thick skull'. Seriously. Thanks for the vote of confidence, thanks for the self esteem booster. And you actually wonder how i got my life so fucked up. Really, take it from me. The one who gets all the shyt on her. Learn to either STFU (as you always say, if you have nothing good to say DONT say anything), or just blardy learn to communicate without being a complete bitch. Being called a bitch by someone like me, yeah, not something you should be proud of. Fucking either brush up on your communication skills like im trying to (i effing happen to realize its a 2 way thing so im damn well trying), or to hell just MYOB. You're really the last person i need stressing up my life. Not MY fault you stopped working and got all fucked up being cooped in four walls everyday. So just PLEASE, get a life, or get the HELL outta mine... Out.
~ Hope It Gives You Hell - All American Rejects
* My Life. My World. Shades of Black.
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