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Barely two months have passed in this new year and already so much has happened... Bryan's left (again), so has Ben Tay and Eugene and he-who-must-not-be-named... Chances are... They'll be back... though im not sure i can say the same for a few others...

Just within a less-than-30day span... ive known of 4deaths that has unfortunately happened. Bryan's uncle, Zhi Xuan's dad, Yee Sook and the most recent of all, Markus. I didnt attend the 1st twos funeral as i wasnt exactly that close to them. but it sucks that during CNY, a time when all's supposed to be well. an occasion that symbolizes a new beginning... i had to attend Yee Sook's funeral (we all expected it juz not that soon but i guess he doesnt have to suffer anymore) and exactly a week later ive had to attend Markus's wake. it really makes me ponder about how fragile life is. These 2 ppl whom ive known personally. were both so young and talented in their own ways. Both a son, a brother, and a friend to so many.

Attending their funerals, its come to make me wonder, what would it be like if it were MY own funeral (im morbid that way. shux) ? Who would come? who would i have impacted? will i want my loved ones to grief or be happy that im someplace else safer? would everything, from the ceremony, to the ppl who come, to every other detail. be as i expected? How would i even DIE?

Also, attending funerals has made me think back on this particular episode of One Tree Hill where whats-his-name Jimmy or something kills himself. and there was this part where this girl from Brooke's class told her mom that she thought of Brooke as her friend when Brooke has barely spoke to her in her entire life? It made Brooke ponder upon the not-so-popular average Joe's and plain Jane's that you never really bother talking to, getting to know. All i can say is. People surprise us in ways we dont expect. How we see them may not be how they see us. Vice versa. But it never hurt anyone to juz smile at that outcast at skl. or be nice to that anti-social emo kid in class.

Life's short. It's fragile. It's unexpected. When you live when you die. No one can be certain. The only thing you CAN be certain about is HOW you live your life. (not that im cursing but) you never know when you're turn is. anyone of us could be next. and death doesnt have to happen for a reason. it juz comes. The only question now is, are you gonna be one who takes this as a load of crap? that when you're time is up its up? no regrets? or are you gonna ponder upon it, like i did, rethink your way of life, and start doing small things, to change your life, and the lives around you. so that when the day another life of a dear friend is lost. There's no guilt and regret and thoughts of " if only's" and " im a little too late"... Choice is yours... so is your life.

Lastly to Yee Sook and Markus, ive never really got to know you guys on a more personal note but more or less, one way or another, you guys have left your marks in me. Rest In Peace dear friends... =]

~ In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge
* My Life. My World. Shades of Black.